My Addled Brain

So, I’m flipping around the seemingly endless radio dial. On Howard 100, Stern is egging on some poor schmuck caller to talk about his gay experiences. Alt Nation has some good stuff going, but I’m just not feeling it. I drift past NPR Now and ESPNNews - and my finger suddenly stops when I hear that familiar refrain:

lookin for the one they call Eazy
But here’s a flash, they never seize me

And I fall in love with satellite radio all over again. Backspin, Channel 43.

MCG got it for Christmas. But until a few weeks ago, I didn’t have the chance to get a listen to it. After 20 minutes in his car, to say I was intrigued would be an understatement. You mean, I can save up to 30 bands, and when they come on it will tell me and give me the option to switch? A ridiculous amount of commercial-free music choices? 24 hour comedy stations? Local traffic every eight minutes? Where do I freaking sign up?

The worst part about this? Now I’m a Stern fan. God help me, I tried to avoid it at first, but I just had to know what the big deal was. Now, I’m hooked. There are exceptions, of course, and his show isn’t always full-on strong (thus the channel flipping this morning) - but overall the man is entertaining in a way I never thought would be possible on the radio. And in a way, it isn’t - certainly not on terrestrial radio anymore.

It breaks my heart, just the tiniest little bit, to say goodbye to our local DJ friends. Well, ok, not really. When the most passably listenable radio station (97X, imho) still pretty much blows, I can happily say the small amount of money I pay for Sirius is money very well spent.

As part of my continuing series on irrelevant and day-late-and-a-dollar-short posts, I’d like to congratulate Ubergeek on his successful move to Ireland. That’s right, the man has moved to Europe to be with his rather fetching Brit fiancee, work at a new, more important job that pays more, and live with population that shares his brand of paleness. But the best part? Fresh Guinness. For lunch.

Damn you, Uber.

I’ve been loathe to bring this up…just because.

Not posting here is pretty easy when you have something to say, but don’t want to say it. It’s easy to step around the elephant in the room if you don’t go into the room. But avoiding the subject doesn’t make it go away, and it’s waited long enough. It needs to be said.

Amy - Teh One - and I broke up recently.

Thus, the need for the moving van this past weekend. She got her own place in town, and Sunday was the big day.

I’m not going into the why’s here. I still care about her, and I want nothing but the best for her. And despite how it all turned out, I’m very happy to have had her in my life.

Despite the fact that she took my favorite Vettriano.

That was a joke, people. Really. It is my favorite Vettriano, tho.

Sunday’s activities required the use of a moving van. Apparently, there aren’t many places that are open to rent one a moving van on Sunday - the nearest place we could find was located on 301 in beautiful downtown Zephyrhills. And when I say “beautiful”, what I mean to say is “rustic”. And when I say “rustic”, what I really mean to say is “redneck podunk”. But it’s only a ten minute drive from the house to Sunday morning’s destination, so MCG and I toddled on down there to acquire our quality moving vehicle product.

Should you ever find yourself in beautiful downtown Zephyrhills, possibly due to your vehicle breaking it’s axle or your tires getting caught in a bear trap, I wholeheartedly recommend making a stop at AutoLand, just two miles south of the 301/SR54 interchange. Feel free to peruse their fine selection of used automobiles - for example, many of their late model (late as in deceased) vehicles start at under $1000. Or how about a lovely fire engine, at the bargain basement price of $3750? But the bargains do not end there, my friends!

Step inside (careful to avoid the two Shi Tzus happily sleeping, perhaps in the middle of the floor, or on the only chair available for customers. While inside, peruse their apparel section - they have genuine leather vests on sale for only $20! And you know it’s genuine leather - the words “Genuine Leather” are silk-screened inside the vest, assuring you, the customer, that your purchase is a most wise one indeed. You can also pick up your Zephyrhills Auto Show t-shirts here, the annual gathering that brings unsuspecting tourists into town so their souls may be offered to the dark lord in an orgy of blood and sin. They also have a large selection of “collectible” (their quotes, not mine) model cars - just ten bucks each!

But Autoland isn’t merely a used car/quazi-apparel store with a large toy car selection. They’re also a museum of fascinating art and sculpture! Bear witness to the large trophy section, most likely given for Best Vehicle Offered For Sale (Stripped Down Fire Engine) for 12 years running. Gaze in awe at family portraits of slack-jawed relatives in uncomfortable positions that litter the room. And behold the most powerful piece of art in all of Zephyrhills: a bust of a vampire-like creature, donning a Nascar cap.

I had plenty of time to take all this in - the proprieters had chosen wisely in their technology department, acquiring an inkjet printer for all their contract printing needs. Soon, however, it was time to depart this wonderland of white trash, and drive the newly-rented vehicle. Like everything else at this Land of Autos, the rental truck bespoke of the quality and care that all their vehicles have. Meaning, it was covered in leaves and pollen, and there was no wiper fluid to clean the windshield off with. But I left rejoicing in the knowledge that soon, perhaps later that afternoon, I would be back to return the truck, and that if there was no one there, I could put the key for the truck inside the gas cap of the minivan parked in front of the front door, in lieu of an actual drop box.