People throw things at me

The Weather Man

If they make a flick
where nothing happens, will I
give a damn? Uh, nope.

People have compared this movie to Garden State. This would be a mistake; for several reasons. Garden State has characterization, warmth, humor, and a hot female. The Weather Man has mostly unlikable characters, coldness, unfunny situations, and people throwing things at Nick Cage, while he rambles on in a monotone narration. Feel free to miss the homage to James Joyce when he’s trying to remember the tartar sauce and stares at a girl’s ass.

Oh hell, now you want to see the movie, don’t you?

Distract, delude, amuse and insulate

Good Night, and Good Luck

Immaculate film,
Strathairn is button-down bad
ass. See it, pinko.

I’d like to thank Jim of Tampa Bay Media for the tickets - well, I suppose I should thank his wife, since she’s the one who procured them, but he offered. His review has a little more meat on it’s bones, but I never claimed to be Bob Ross.

As a side note - the once grand Olde Hyde Parke movie theater has fallen on hard times in the wake of stadium seating. I hadn’t been there in years, and while the ownership changes had some upsides - like beer and wine at the consession stand (with the not-so-subtle name of “MMMMMMMMMMMM”), or the liberal use of my favorite font - the issues they had during the screening were unforgivable. Audio track problems (actors occasionally had problems with the VOLUME OF THEIR VOICE) and a giant splotch that invaded the top right hand corner, and stayed there the entire time, hurt the viewing experience. It’s too bad, because I could really have gotten to like that place otherwise. It screams retro, which long-time readers (all three of you) will know is a “thing” of mine.

It totally beats paper

I was just waiting for him to call it a “travishamockery”. Sadly, this was not to be - Saddam pulls a Milosevic and challenges the legitimacy of the court, who are you to put the president of Iraq on trial, don’t you know who I am (a crowd favorite, that one), and then I think he mentioned something about the judge not being able to handle the truth. All quite riveting, but I think trying to impersonate Nicholson while doing so was a bit much.

In the end, everyone pleaded innocent, the judge granted a continuance to the defense for what appear to be legit grounds, but IANAILE. I don’t think it will make a difference in the end - he’ll be found guilty of enough crimes to keep him, at the very least, behind bars for the rest of his life. He may get the death penalty, but I imagine whether he does or not will rest solely on the political direction of the country come sentencing. Don’t get me wrong - the guy can’t possibly be punished enough for what he’s done. But I think they could just hire actors to perform the trial, and the outcome would still be the same.

He should have just plead Tiger Hand. RAWR!

Yeah, it’s old, but I love that site.

I’ve put General Gargamel in charge.

UNICEF tested, Peyo approved. Where was this on Saturday morning? I sure would have watched.

Maybe he didn’t have enough GIJoe’s growing up

I try to avoid the politics here as of late. There are several benefits to this decision: I don’t have to have arguments with family members about something they read here. I can maintain a neutral standard in regards to my administration of TampaBLAB (Now 42 members strong!) And it helps keep the post count down, which probably benefits everyone.

But I just can’t help it. Our beloved President, who has managed to make even his staunchest supporters start to wonder what the hell he’s been smoking lately (see: Miers, Harriet), decided to address something that has nothing to do with Iraq, hurricane disasters, or hiring close friends to mismanage government offices or sit on the highest bench in the land. Understandably, with all the concern about the emergency response capabilites of federal, state and local officials, some of whom were apparently trained using rap songs and a Finnish copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook, you’d think Bush might do something like suggest states actually work together to help brainstorm disaster response plans. Perhaps point to states with good, working models - one of the few things I will give Jeb(!) high marks for during his terms of office. Say what you want about the man, he’s got his emergency response group tight. But no, that would be sensible and require planning, finesse, and a desire for people to work together for a common goal. (Granted, there are states that don’t want to work with other states, and there’s nothing to say anything would come of this. But I digress.) Instead, George W. “Iron Fist” Bush would prefer a more…shall we say…direct approach?

Example: a bird flu pandemic occurs. Tens of thousands of people succumb to this potentially deadly virus. Who do we send, should when this hits US soil? Trained medical technicians, doctors, and agents from the CDC, armed with antiviral medication and backed by local law enforcement? Wait, what do you mean there are issues with the manufacture and sale of antivirals? I can’t understand why patent exclusivity would cause a problem with people being able to get an affordable medication. (That’s right, that sound you heard was my eyes rolling.)

Besides, that method required dealing with people and relying on the public to maintain order and discipline, which we all know in the aftermath of Katrina could never, ever happen, especially if poor people are involved. (Not that a lack of governmental leadership at every level had anything to do with it, mind you.) No, what we really need to solve this crisis is more troops.

That’s right, GWB has proposed using the US military in a law enforcement role on US soil, should the bird flu mutate, spread out of control, and begin infecting citizens. (There is debate ongoing as to whether or not this will actually occur, but what good is the media without an end-of-the-world story to report? Digressing again, sorry.) What a wonderful idea! Military as police on US soil!

Here’s a tip, George. Go find yourself a some grunts. Pick any branch of the service you want. Just gather about 20-30 of them all together, and ask them how they would feel about acting in a law enforcement role. I know you won’t care that their answer would be in strict opposition to your suggestion, but it is important that you know this before entertaining further discussion on the subject. No, I myself have never served in the military. But I’ve spoken to plenty who have. Solders are NOT cops. They weren’t trained to be cops. Their purpose is to protect the United States and its allies from forces that threaten it from without and fight our wars - not invade parts of the US to enforce martial law. How about this idea - let’s invade other countries where the outbreak starts! That way, we fight the virus over there - meaning we aren’t fighting terrorists here at home. Or something. Or maybe we would need to declare war on God - viruses are the ultimate WMDs, after all.

Don’t get me wrong, I think a public discussion on this topic is not only warranted, it’s necessary. This is a serious world issue. But brushing aside the Posse Comitatus Act because you can’t get your domestic health policy out of the asses of pharmecutical company lobbists and corporate interests is dangerous territory.

More fun with FEMA

I’ve mentioned the FEMA for Kids website before.

They have a rap song available for download from there. No, really. This gem is so good, it’s worth downloading RealPlayer for. I find a certain bit of resolution with history in this gem - hearing it makes you realize just how completely out of touch that agency (and by default, our government) can really be.

You gotta be ready so your heart don’t break, yo.

The kids at school will still beat him up

Nicolas Cage and his wife just had a son. He’s named Kal-el Coppola Cage.

It took me 10 minutes to process that. I wonder how that conversation went with his wife:

Nic’s wife: Ok, so, what do you think we should name the baby? I like George.
Nic: (sniffs) See…that’s not gonna work…I was thinkin’ maybe something like (sniffs) Kal-El.
Nic’s wife: Kal-el? The hell did you get that name?
Nic: Kal-El! You know (sniffs), Superman’s real name.
Nic’s wife: I thought Superman’s real name was Clark.
Nic: (sniffs, looks around) No, babe…Kal-el’s his real name…Clark is just some nonsense his earth parents came up with.
Nic’s wife: I dunno. Got any other ideas?
Nic: It’s either Kal-el, or Galactus. I’m not (sniffs) backing down.
Nic’s wife: Can’t you name him for a part you did get?
Nic: I thought about that (sniffs, paces)…but I’m not so sure I like the ring of “Amarillo Slim Cage”.
Nic’s wife: (sighs) Ok, how about a girl?
Nic: Oh, that’s easy. Daisy Duck.

With this candle… I will set your mother on fire.

Corpse Bride

It’s Nightmare Before
Christmas
lite. I’m still waiting
for Ed Wood 2, though.