I choose YOU, Hurricane Charley!

As Tommy has mentioned, it hasn’t even been a week yet, and already fingers are being pointed as to who’s fault Hurricane Charley is.

No, really. Then again, with a pricetag at 11 billion and climbing, I guess someone really should take the fall for this.

Aside from a serious potential as Michael Moore’s next documentary topic (What is the Bush family’s secret connection to Mother Nature?), some blame the media, and a few apparently want to blame the National Hurricane Center.

Well, in a shocking display of candor, the National Hurricane Center says surprise! Meteorology is, at best, an inexact science - and because of that, warnings had been issued up and down the west coast of Florida, including the Ft. Myers/Punta Gorda area. Which means those residents who feel the state was caught by surprise were more interested in the forecast than the warnings they were given. I don’t recall seeing anything said from any information source that guaranteed you would be fine unless you lived in the Tampa Bay area, or anywhere along the original projected track.

Then again, most of these are “Letters to the Editor” - usually, these are inane ramblings from people who have more time than sense, tossing their random idiotic thoughts out there where people will, hope against hope, read them and agree with them - because deep down, we all want to be loved and respected for being pompus, self-righteous losers.

I wouldn’t know anything about that, natch - I’m a blogger, and everyone knows what I say is not only true, it’s perfect in every way. Or not. But at least I’m not blaming people for the results of nature’s wrath.

But since we, as a society, seem to need a target upon which to finger as the source of our miseries, both individual and collective, I’ve come up with something to help those of you who haven’t quite settled on your target for your wrath - I call it…the Blaminator! Please, utilize the following simple form, which allows you to both settle and reinforce your fears, phobias, and desires.



Make your choices, Blaminate, then repeat the resulting mantra to yourself, until the desired effect (reassurance, paranoia, or insanity) takes place.

Comments (28) to “I choose YOU, Hurricane Charley!”

  1. It is clear that the people in the path of Chuck did not check in with Vipir.

  2. Why I oughtta…

  3. I am thinking of suing the National Weather Service myself. I mean, some of our plants died when they didn’t get enough rain a few weeks ago. The price of the plants is one thing, but the mental anguish I have suffered is hard to put a pricetag on.

  4. The Blaminator doesn’t work. I blame Bob Dole for that.

  5. Works fine for me. Wonder if IE’s choking on something…

  6. Yup. I dumbed the Blaminator down for IE - and added a couple things…

  7. That’s insane! Insane, I tell you!

    Anyway, like your site! As a Tampa Bay blogger, you’re invited to this: http://www.evite.com/pages/gt/events/viewPub.jsp?eventID=CNJMUJTOKUXENXARQYQQ

    Hope you can make it!

  8. Could it be…. Satan?

  9. Ohhh… Fancy little borders. Nice.

  10. Yeah, I thought they needed something to stand out. Love that CSS.

  11. I heard a story about a lady who was supposed to have one of the big van lines move her furniture and belongings from Washington state to Kansas. It has been over four weeks and the carrier claims that they can’t get it there yet because of the Hurricane. You know. The one that was in Florida.

  12. If it was one of those where they transport her belongings plus someone else’s, maybe the “someone else” was moving to Florida so they can’t release the truck? Still dumb though, I agree.

  13. Anyone know somewhere I can feed an email address to so the people who the email belongs to will start getting spammed and really, really annoyed? I got an email from a couple that ate at the restaurant and they were upset because for 2 people, they got a full wrap, a full sandwhich, a side of shrimp etoufee, and 2 drinks plus tip, and it came to $18.

    I told them to go to McDonalds and get a value meal, and now I want them spammed until they have to change emails… thanks!

  14. Damn man! Talk about overpriced! I can feed all 19 of my kids for $18! What kinda scam you runnin?

    But seriously, there are a ton of crappy email spam sites. Just sign them up for free e-zines, website updates, or anything really. Those things perpetuate themselves. Run a Google search for “Freebies”. Just don’t click “Yes” when the virus attempts to embed itself in your system. :)

  15. Actually, all you have to do is sign them up at the freeipods.com site or whatever. Trust me, they will get spammed.

  16. Muwahahaha!

    I physically killed a server today. She forgot to tell the bar about a To-Go order on the fax machine because it was so busy, and an hour went by before it got taken care of. I choked her, slowly, and then raked my foot off on her face in the middle of the dining room. It relieved a lot of stress!

  17. Was she canned, or did you just chain her to the fax machine for all eternity?

    On a side note, pictures of the house have been updated, and AO has seen a few movies for your haiku entertainment. I will save the surprise so he might actually post an update (although it’s hard to hide something that big in the photos). *smiles innocently*

  18. That does it, you’re getting a blog whether you like it or not. Must you spoil everything?

  19. I must be blind or something. What did I miss?

    I hate waiting….

  20. Can’t I just take this one? I post more than you do!

  21. Putting two and two together I have a guess. But I won’t spoil it in case I’m right.

  22. I found a new blog. Brett, it seems eerily like the words of someone we might both know. http://www.redneckadvisor.blogspot.com

  23. You mean Joe Ingram?

  24. I believe the individual’s first name is “Sweet”.

  25. Erm. Is there an update in our future?? /cough

  26. I’m really tempted to write a Dear Redneck letter that goes something like this:

    Dear Redneck: (I’d call you “Redneck Man” but you’re obviously a scared little boy.)

    I’m glad all men are not as shallow and insecure as you obviously are, or more women would turn to mass murder. Didn’t your mother teach you better manners?

    Sincerely, A Real Woman

  27. I like getting emails from people I know, makes me feel better every morning.

  28. I like getting emails from people I know, makes me feel better every morning.

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