My Addled Brain

I’m beat.

Since my corporate welfare ran out a week or so ago, I’ve had to turn to my fallback plan. And the fallback plan kicked me square in the hinder yesterday. I have to say, while it’s nice to know I can make nearly the same amount of money as I could at my old job, I don’t really look fondly on the hours I have to put in to get that money. Thirteen hour days don’t settle so well on me. Four thirteen hour days in a row settle on me even less so. Basically, I’m a tired, whiny bastard. Tack on a late night this week to do some website work for someone less bitter than me, and has promised to pay me in all the handbags I could ever want.

And now, your update.

Felix’s wedding was a smashing affair. The bachelor party was just fun enough to not actually get us in trouble. No, really. The ceremony was just long enough to feel real, yet not so long as to make us all tune the proceedings out, Felix was sharp, and Kristin looked lovely as ever. And the ceremony was very nice as well, aside from the fact that the big, all glass pavilion area didn’t kick on the AC until we were well into the electric slide.

Thankfully, there was no chicken dance.

Also got to see Calvin, arguably the most successful of the Rawlings suitemates. He’s doing well, and will be sure to buy me dinner the next time I pop down to Miami…either that, or I shall spend a week discussing his fixation with muscular latin women.

For those of you who have not figured it out yet…Admirer_01 will be coming here…to stay. We’ve decided to make a road trip out of it, so I’m flying up in late August, and we’re gonna take a week to drive down. Should hit Lawrence on a Sunday, so we can hit trivia Smackdown at the Bottleneck with Erky and his brother. Then, we’ll stop in the ATL to say howdy to the Madre, before finally returning home, where she will set up shop in her grand return to the east coast. Yes, the rest of you will get to meet her. Well, I dunno about that Andy guy.

7-11 Exclusive Blend Coffee am good.

That is all.

7-11 Exclusive Blend Coffee am good.

That is all.

So my DVD rack collaped last night. It’s done this before, basically just falls forward, dumping the contents of the top rack haphazardly while the lower rows stay neatly in place with a rather loud and forceful thud you can feel, I’m sure, in the next building. In the 2 or 3 times this has happened before, it hasn’t been a big deal - pick it up, put the contents back on the shelf, and go about your business. This time, however, we have a casualty. The left foot of the rack has broken clean off, and one of the screws was ripped out of the wood. So it’s still sitting there, DVD’s and all, while I decide what to do with it, a monument to my general apathy these days.

Got offered a job today from my former employer. Apparently, he’s going to be opening a few small gyms using some special equipment, and he’s got people coming in to certify him on how to use it. He wanted to know if I wanted to be a trainer for the gym he would open down here.

Erm…have you people seen me lately? I wouldn’t say I’m huge, but you certainly won’t see me on the cover of “Muscle” anytime soon. “Beer Gut Monthly”, perhaps. He said he’d get me in shape. Still…that’s kinda like offering a gay man a job as a gynecologist - if he was interested in that, he wouldn’t be gay, would he? As much as I need a job…pass.

That last insensitive statement was brought to you by the Bloodhound Gang Hate Group Local 153.

I am actually a bit busier these days - doing some fill in work so I don’t have to live on the street, and I’m also gearing up for the wedding of Felix and Kristy this weekend, which will put me back in touch with a few old college buddies. For the bachelor party, I’m pushing to buy a super soaker, a bunch of iodized salt, and knock over a few soda machines…not that I would know anything about that, mind you. I’ve just heard that it makes for an entertaining evening.

Get me out of this apartment for 40 hours a week. Toss me some money for my time. I’m productive, and I know my stuff. I work hard for the time I put in.

Why can’t I just send a resume like that? It would certainly make my life easier. Instead, I have to come up with “Objectives” - my objective is to keep a roof over my head and food in my pantry, just like every other human being since they stopped slouching and started hitting things with rocks. Instead, I have to come up with ways to prove I’m worth someone else’s time. You think they had resumes in Rome?

Gentrius Maximvs
MCXXIV Bronze Olive Way
Rome, Roman Empire

Objective: I seek employment as an armorer for his greatness Emperor Nero, to prodvce the finest defenses for our grand Roman army, so our empire may contive to crvsh it’s enemies.

So I continues to fire out resumes to any job that even remotely resembles something I might be qualified for. It’s belittling, it’s annoying, and it’s a tad bit frightening to know I may be completely and utterly out of luck.

And you people wonder why I haven’t been updating. If I did, you’d just get more of that.