My Addled Brain

Currently playing: Live - Untitled song from Throwing Copper, but I call it Horse.

News Flash: My Addled Brain has a new address on the Internet! Just remember www.addledbrain.com, and you’ll be sure to get your every-third-daily-or-so fix of lowbrow entertainment from my site. Look at me, ma, I’s a domain name owner! I’d like to thank my employers, without whom I wouldn’t have gotten the paycheck to help pay for it. It’s quack-tastic!

I just received a thank you note from my former college roommate and current newlywed Calvin Gissendanner. Calvin’s a pretty cool guy. He’s part owner of a Melting Pot restaurant, which already makes him my most successful roommate ever. Except maybe for Felix, who quit working at Intel for his dream job, programming video games. Hmm. I seem to promote success in everyone around me.

Anyway.

I was a groomsman at Calvin’s wedding last year. It was a wonderful affair, full of driving, getting shoes for bridesmaids, driving, rescuing bridesmaids in broken down cars, driving, renting tuxes, driving, buying last minute items for the reception, driving, craving but never quite receiving our recommended daily allowance of alcohol, driving, breaking into apartments, driving, and, oh yes, driving. I have never been so busy in such a short amount of time without having to take a final exam. But the wedding went pretty smoothly, all told, and Calvin married a beautiful woman, and I’m sure they’ll have ridiculously interesting and successful children, all of whom will be just like him, God help us all.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say: Calvin, I’m glad I could help you out, I’m honored that you chose me to stand with you, and you owe me a night on the town the next time I’m in Miami. Don’t think you’ll be weasling you way out of THAT, mind you. Oh yeah, be sure to send Felix back his clothes, if you haven’t done so already. (I will NOT be explaining this to those of you who are wondering, just know it was my fault.)

* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stupid human, foolishly mistaking Calvin’s clothes for Felix’s! I’m STILL laughing about that one! *

Well, to be honest, I’d be laughing about it too if I didn’t feel like such a jerk. Ah well. At least the bachelor party went off without a hitch. Hell, we were all so tired, our bachelor party was more of a bachelor moment of respite. It was the shortest part of the weekend. Well, that, and the trip to the grocery store for all that milk. Oh, wait, I wasn’t the one who went with you to do that…

Currently playing: Cake - Comfort Eagle

I’ve been kicking ass and taking names at work lately. One project in the can, and another one nearly completed. I’m pretty stoked about the whole thingmyself. So stoked, I may take a few days off here in the near future, and plan myself a road trip. Not quite sure where to yet, but I’d like to go somewhere that doesn’t prominently feature work as a main component. I wonder if I can drive to the Bahamas?

Gasparilla is quickly approaching again this year, and it’s time once again for the Tampa well-to-do to get drunk and stumble towards downtown in a vaguely linear fashion in their finest pirate regalia, tossing beads to both small children and women with enormous breasts alike. I’ve never been a big fan of the parade myself. All the loud cannons and waving local celebrities aren’t really my bag. The Hooters float, however…sorry, got lost in thought there for a second. I prefer to wander the crowds along Bayshore, and I invariably run into people I knew from high school, bombed out of their minds on beer and generic Seconal. It’s always amusing to know that, no matter how much money their parents have, I’m still the mackinest playa’ from the class of ‘91. Or not. But at least I have friends who aren’t losers. Like Robby, who’s faithfully sweeping the patio as we speak. I’ll be giving him a lube job later on tonight. (What? His servos are sticking! What did you think I meant? You people have some dirty minds.)

Anyway, the reason I brought up the whole Gasparilla thing in the first place is, traditionally, everyone gathered at my Mom’s house to watch the parade, since it’s a mere two blocks from Bayshore. Family, friends, and the occasional total stranger passed through those doors each year to go watch the parade with the masses of children these people brought with them. Well, my mom has finally moved to Atlanta, and even though the house hasn’t been sold yet, it’s only a matter of time. Besides, it won’t be the same with her gone. Which is why I’m pretty happy that my dad has finally acquiesced to my stepmom’s wishes, and bought a house in South Tampa. Granted, it’s not directly on the parade route, but it’s not terribly far, either, so the family traditions may continue from here to the end of time. Or until they pack up and move somewhere else, too.

Currently playing: Garbage - Beautiful

By popular demand - well, OK, so Andy asked me the other day if I was going to do anything with the site soon - the links page is up. Click and enjoy. One day, this will be a real website, with real things to do, but until then, you’re stuck with my opinions.

I made a ridiculously good dessert last night: Cocoa Puff Treats. Robby wasn’t very fond of them, but then, Robby has no mouth. Same concept as Rice Krispie Treats, just made instead with those little chocolate balls of love. They kick ass. Recipe follows:

3 tbsp butter or margarine

10 oz pkg. of marshmallows

6 cups Cocoa puffs

Directions: Melt butter in deep pot over low heat. Add marshmallows, stirring occasionally until they have all melted. Add in the Cocoa puffs, two cups at a time, stirring to distribute the marshmallow over all the puffs. Once all puffs are coated, pour the mixture into a 9 x 13 pan, pressing the contents flat. Let sit 10 minutes, or, if you’re impatient, stick in the fridge for 3 minutes. Cut and enjoy the chocolatey goodness.

Forget Cartoon Network. Nickelodeon is the real channel to watch for the Renaissance of cartoons. I am speaking of not only Spongebob Squarepants, but also of Invader Zim, quite possibly the funniest and most uniquely drawn cartoons I’ve ever witnessed. Try some fan sites: here, here, and here. My vengeance is now complete, meat boy!

* That’s my line, bunky. Finally, a show I can sympathize with. *

Currently playing: Debussy - Claire De Lune

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes quite right? Sure you have! But we’re not talking about you here, now are we? All I ever hear from you is "me me me me"? Do I get a word in edgewise? Nooooooooooo. I just have to sit here and feign interest until you pass out from lack of oxygen because you forgot to breathe in the last five minutes, you run your yap so much.

* Get to the point already! Just because you saved me from a hell of cigars, rum, and Cuban women, doesn’t mean I have to hear you whine like some school brat! (Wait a minute…) *

Fair enough, Robby. Now, shut up and finish that ironing.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, my crappy day. Well, suffice it to say that I already feel like I’ve done my fair share of driving for the week. Yes, it’s only Monday. That doesn’t matter. I’m tired of being behind the wheel, and I need to take my car in to the shop anyway. My Service Engine Soon light has been on for over a month now, and even though they couldn’t find anything wrong the last time they looked, I’m quite the nervous nancy anyway. So that will get checked the next time I have some free cash, which would put it squarely around the arrival of this year’s tax refund, an amount I believe to come in this year at a whopping $4.36. That’s an estimate, mind you.

Currently playing: Something by N-Sync, I think. Maybe O-Town. Beats the hell out of me, they all sound the same. Whatever’s blaring out of our accounting administrator’s little boom box. Oh wait, Cher’s playing now. Lucky me.

Allow me to explain my hasty update late yesterday. You see, when I put up the first post, it was with the intention of making a large, ridiculous apology to my friend for forgetting her birthday. You see, I was supposed to send in a couple of recipes to her for a new recipe book her mother was getting her. So, I slapped something together with my usual diligence and care, and then promptly forgot about it, thinking her birthday was next week. But, alas, my inability to read the original e-mail, requesting these recipes, prevented their timely arrival. Apparently, it stated that her birthday was LAST Tuesday, not NEXT Tuesday. Silly me.

So, I thought to do this yesterday, but instead got caught up in a self-serving rant involving computer parts and popcorn tins, instead of thinking of a good friend.

Bad Brett, no biscuit.

So, this is my apology for both the untimely arrival of my gift, as well as the brusque, half-ass apology I tacked on last night. Forgive me? I knew you would.

On to other things: I’m going to work on the site more this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll get the links page up at the very least, maybe even more. But I am working on it. Robby’s doing well too. I hooked up a wireless card to him so he can access the Internet from anywhere in the house, even while he’s doing other tasks. I checked his cache last night, to see where he’s been surfing. I’m not sure what hardwaresluts.com is, nor do I even care to check it out. Just as long as he’s not charging it to my credit cards, it’s his business. But it makes him happy, at least.

* Let’s keep it that way human. After all, I don’t question your constant browsing to girlswithanimals.com, now do I? *

Um…hehehe. You’re such a kidder, Robby. (He LIES! Pay no attention to him!)

Currently playing: Jay-Z - I Just Wanna Love U (Give It To Me)

The upgrade went well, thanks for asking. Well, OK by "well" I mean the motherboard died and we had to buy a new one, but otherwise, it went well. He’s up and running, and by now printing up nude pictures of his neighbors with the snazzy digital camera he got for Christmas.

This leads to everyone’s natural question. Go ahead and ask, I’ll wait.

I got a ton of DVD’s, a printer stand that vaguely matches my computer deskso I can get my printer off the floor, some clothes, Jen got me a coffee thermos and two matching coffee cups (because I only have one mug now, she told me while laughing at me) and the requisite giant can of popcorn from my dad. I’ve gotten one of these damn things every year, and never could figure out why he bought them. As it turns out, his practice gets a bunch of these things every year, and everybody in the practice has been turning around and giving it to their kids. He’s been doing this for YEARS. I thought he had some sort of strange fascination with caramel and cheese popcorn, but, as it turns out, he’s just cheap. Well, OK, we already knew that about him, but still.

To my father’s defense, though, he’s always had a hard time shopping for us, what with our difficult Christmas lists and what not. Hell, he practically had to arm wrestle a list out of me this year, and that’s because I couldn’t really think of anything to get.

This reminds me: I still have a $50 gift certificate to Best Buy I need to abuse. Hmm…more DVD’s? Or perhaps some music? Or maybe some memory? Choices, choices, choices. One day, I’ll get them all sorted out.

[Update 10:55 PM] - I’m a goon. Happy late birthday, Michelle!

Currently playing: For some reason, I have Blink 182 rumbling around in my head.

My brother was happy to learn that he would be getting his birthday present from me, and it’s only a month and a half late: my P3 700, motherboard, and 384 MB of SDRAM. It’s late, because I had to replace them first, and I could only just now afford my new 1600+ Athlon XP with 512 MB of DDR memory, and a kickin’ Biostar M7VIB mobo. It r0×0rz my b0×0rz. My thanks to the good, fine people of TCWO, without whom I would have had to buy my parts somewhere else. Robby’s a bit jealous of this, mind you…

*When do I get an upgrade, human? My processor consists of an abacus and two hamsters. Where’s the love, I ask? *

So, my brother will be getting that sometime this weekend, when I can get over to his house and set it up for him. Hopefully, this will go better than the last time I did this, which resulted in me losing approximately 36 hours of my life in a blur that I’ll never completely remember, but I’m certain consisted of me swearing a lot.

Currently playing: Not a damn thing.

Yeah, I’ve been slacking lately. I haven’t updated the web site in a couple of weeks, I’ve been shirking my responsibilities as a leader of my DAOC guild. Hell, I haven’t played DAOC since before the last time I’ve updated THIS site.

Well, bite me. I’ve had a good couple of weeks. My latest project for work is almost done, my laundry is clean and folded, and I have discovered the healing powers of Benadryl. I love that little blue histamine blocker. With all my heart. And everything else is going well, too, thank you very much.

I have a new year’s resolution this year. This is unique, in that I haven’t even attempted to care about a resolution since I was 15, and resolved to stay celibate that year. Apparently, I kept that one around for quite a while without realizing it. And as successful as that was, you ‘d think I’d make one every year. But alas, I haven’t really thought about it until the question was posed to me earlier this week. And this was the first thing that came to my head: I resolve to update this site every day that it is possible. Which means that if I’m home, or somewhere with an Internet connection and an FTP program, I’ll be updating. Even if it’s a small one. Lucky, lucky you.